Regarding the issue of revenge on the part of the Goel Hadam. The Minchas Chinuch on the Mitzvah of Lo Tikom strongly considers the possibility that the mitzvah of not taking revenge only applies to money matters and not to a case where a person has committed bodily harm. In the case of bodily harm, not taking revenge would merely be a matter of chassidut. The Goel Hadam is presumably acting on behalf of the victim who received the ultimate bodily harm and is under no obligation of chassidut to forgive on behalf of his dead relative. Interestingly, there is actually a dispute in the Talmud in Makkot if the Go'el Hadam has an obligation to kill the murderer or merely a right to do if he chooses.
In addition, I think there is a difference between taking revenge on your own and God commanding you to do so. For example, God himself is called a "nokaim". He commanded the Jews to take revenge from Midyan, he issued a commandment to wipe out Amalek and Jews obviously believe in some form of heavenly punishment for those who commit acts of evil. Thus this could be one of the areas where the Torah considers an act of revenge to be appropriate. It should be noted that there are other examples of revenge in Judaism as well. We know that Dovid Hamelech took revenge from Yoav and Shimi. Minchas Chinuch explains that a king is not allowed to forgo his honor and as such revenge is appropriate. On Shabbat before before Mussaf we ask God to take revenge from those who killed his people. Thus, at the end of the day, it would seems the Torah does advocate revenge in certain limited situations. If the crime is severe enough, revenge can be called for.
Having said that, I don't think the Torah is actually advocating revenge in the Ir Miklat case. There is a difference between revenge and punishment...the punishment for accidental manslaughter is the need to go to the Ir Miklat...if the murderer refuses he risks a stricter punishment of getting killed by the Goel Hadam. The Torah might not advocating revenge per se but letting the murderer know he needs to be subjected to the confines of the Ir Miklat or risk the consequences. Once the Kohein Gadol dies and the murderer has done his time, "revenge" would be forbidden under any manner.
Tzvi Daum
