Norman Meskin expressed his concern about the tone and language with which his post-high school students ask questions. In the process of doing so, he wonders aloud about what’s wrong with the system which produced students who speak in these terms.
Regarding his first point, I believe that there are at least two reasonable positions. One is outraged by the question and its tone and the other is unfazed by it. In my earlier years I was squarely in the first camp and took great efforts to help the students to reformulate their question and understand the impropriety and impudence of challenging the halakhic system, Hazal, or God. While I still believe that such a position is legitimate I have taught myself to be tolerant and respectful of those comments because they often represent a genuine concern and quest. If the student speaks respectfully only because I made them (or because I taught them to speak that way) then I have gained little – I far prefer to have them learn respect because I respected them and their question, regardless of how inappropriately expressed. And I have often found that my patience pays off – those same students remain in dialogue for many years afterwards and later apologize (unprovoked) for their earlier arrogance.
If Norman Meskin prefers the first approach that is his prerogative, but I don’t think that it is appropriate for him to delegitimize those who choose to do things differently. Moreover, the wholesale condemnation of the Yeshiva high school system is, in my opinion, highly inappropriate. It is easy to stand as an outsider and criticize; the reality on the inside of these schools is highly complex. High schools are usually highly pressurized environments – complex schedules, students and teachers running from class to class, tests and academic achievement, not to mention all the work that goes in to preparing students so that they could be ready to go to institutions such as the one that Meskin teaches in. Even more, these students are deep into their teenage rebellion and searching, struggling with personal, social, and religious identity, and are often still immature. (And when they get to Israel and ask the questions that offend Meskin they are still displaying their immaturity).
Perhaps it would be beneficial to reformulate Meskin’s invective as a question, or even a series of questions. For example:
- What are the most effective and appropriate ways to respond to questions which are asked inappropriately?
- Are different approaches appropriate for different ages or different cultural environments, or perhaps even for different individual students?
- What are the best ways to help our students grow into thinking and questioning adults with a healthy respect for mesorah?
- How do we deal with students who insist on being confrontational?
I believe that the healthy discussions which emerge from these questions can be beneficial to colleagues working as partners on both sides of the ocean.
Kol Tuv,
Zvi Grumet
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2017 09:31PM by mlb.
