Attention all parents and educators. This might be your child or student.
Below is an email exchange between my 16 year-old son and my husband. This was sent during Mishmar, when the news clip was shown.
On 10/15/15, 6:43 PM, Zach wrote:
“My rabbi just showed me an attack by a Palestinian against someone and
said those deaths have been going on every few hours for the past 10
days. Are all the Jews in Israel going to die?â€
Almost immediately, my husband, Josh wrote in return:
“No way. The army is involved now. BH we have our country with a police
force and the best army in the world. I wish I could help them - so I
daven and send tzedakah and write to my friends there to give them
strength and support. What are you doing to help? Maybe you can do
something for yourself or Israel so you wouldn¹t feel so anxious?
dadâ€
I share this exchange because so many of us, are hurting for our loved ones and our beloved State of Israel. We cannot fathom, living abroad, of the incessant and warranted panic among Israeli adults, and even more so, the fears of the young children. After the Israeli government advised its citizens to arm themselves, I received a call from a friend living in Jerusalem, panicking because the stores ran out of pepper spray.
My reaction to my son’s email was two-fold. First, I pained to hear his discomfort and fear. There is no way he can understand what is going on. I admit, with all of my education and connections to Israel, I, too fail to comprehend what my friends and family are going through in Israel. Second, I felt concerned from an educational perspective, of teacher’s using his or her classroom as an opportunity to express his or her personal passions, rather than having scheduled assemblies to try to control the educational message and for the faculty to be prepared to receive the students’ diverse reactions.
Studies from 9/11 have shown us that simply watching the news clips of both the grotesque and real can generate PTSD responses. My mentor and teacher, Dr. David Pelcovitz, many times in the wake of these events described two main approaches people have to traumatic events. There are those that he termed, the “Attenders, “ people who thirst for detail and information in order to quell their anxiety; and there are those he termed, the “Distractors, “ people who neither want to know the details or watch graphic news footage. Dr. Pelcovitz has stressed that not one approach is better than another, but simply these are both legitimate approaches in the face of trauma.
Ironically, Zach’s experience and his ability to articulate his feelings have taught me how to be a better educator. I do not blame his teacher for the decision to show that news clip in class. Many times, I have been in that situation, feeling passionate about something whether personal or political and have seized the opportunity to use the Internet in the classroom to show pressing news outside of the context of my classroom. Over the years, I have learned from my superiors when they questioned my judgment, sensitizing me to how my students may not have been able to receive my message so clearly.
My son has taught me to be sensitive and to think from his perspective. I ask educators to be sensitive as well. Please create assemblies, educate our children about Israel. Most likely there are more “Attenders†out there who really want to know all the information. At the same time, please respect the “Distractors.“ Such students should not be surprised with such material. There needs to be better planning. If such students need to walk out of an assembly or a classroom showing disturbing news footage, do not judge them. Their need to distract should not be construed as a lack of caring of the situation. On the contrary, such children are so sensitive because they care so much.
Lastly, as my husband suggested, when such children are feeling so anxious to hear and attend to what is going on Israel, perhaps the schools can provide suggestions to how these students can attend in a constructive way by supporting Israel without feeling traumatized.
Julie Stern Joseph
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/17/2015 08:47PM by mlb.
