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I believe that many of the yeshiva high school students are missing this
ben adam lechavero aspect and that Israeli Yeshivot are also not putting
enough of an emphasis on it. My experience is from teaching high school
students and also observation of YU college students who have just
returned from Israel. They lack a tolerance of individuals who are a bit
different than they are. Frequently, they do not know how to talk
respectfully and act properly.
I think that one of the best ways of inculcating these values is through
out-of-school programs under school auspices. What I mean by that is the
following: Having a class in school about acting nicely to other
individuals has little effect. It is more important to see people acting
nicely rather than talking about it. WE have to apply it to everyday
situations. Some areas that I think can be used to teach these values are:
Sports - I find that sports teams actually have a negative effect on
students and that is because there is little control or supervision.
Furthermore, some of the coaches are negative role models. Students are
already motivated to participate in these activities. If we add a few
restrictions or rules which will demonstrate the importance of ben adam
lechaivero I think it can make an impression.
Extra-curricular activities - This is similar to sports - examples
like debating team or model UN or anything like that. Coaches and advisors
should be building in to these activities segments on how to properly
treat your own team or students from the other team.
Out of school activities or vacations - Schools or communities should be
sponsoring events where there is adult supervision with proper role
models. One negative example is the winter vacation. Schools and
communities can organize enjoyable vacations but that also teach proper
interaction between people and in addition also teach the bein Adam
lamakom aspect too.
Shabbatonim - They have always been done with varying levels of success.
One of the major problems is how to leave an impression on the students
months after the shabbaton is over. If a whole community program is
implemented then shabbatonim can be very effective in being the venue for
teaching the values themselves while other activities will demonstrate the
values.
What is common to all these ideas is to try to have the students under
some sort of supervision as much as possible. One of the major problems I
face as a high school teacher is how to undo the damage of a vacation, a
party organized by a student, a weekend, a summer etc. For the students to
see proper behavior 'in action' rather than in a school setting makes the
best impression.
In a school:
The 'ethics specialist' idea that was raised in the request is a good idea
but I think that it could be included in the Student Activity
Coordinator's job description. The job is not just to coordinate activities
but also to develop positive values. If an activity does not inculcate
positive values it should be done away with. Some activities may lend
themselves to more discussion of issues while some activities may not be
suitable for long discussions. However, at least some time should be set
aside for informing students on how to act properly and setting up a
consequences and reward system for acting appropriately.
In a shul:
the youth director's position should be similar to the student activity
coordinator's position.
I hope this question (and reply) generates many replies since I think this
is a major problem we face.
Uriel Lubetski</HTML>
