I know that it is currently politically incorrect to suggest that there is anything wrong with two men or two women marrying and creating a family together. At the same time, people who are building those families surely must be aware that until very recently such things were unheard of, and that many religious organizations still want to uphold traditional values.
For this reason I think that non-traditional families applying to Orthodox day schools must recognize that asking for the school to recognize same-sex marriage is a difficult request and that there needs to be some accommodation on their part, as well.
If the child is Jewish and would ordinarily be accepted by the school, my suggestion would be to accept the child with a number of conditions that emphasize that the child is being raised by two men (or two women), but not that they are married. For example:
- When appearing in school (for a birthday party or similar) only one parent would be presented as the father (or the mother). The other would have to be "a friend helping raise the child."
- When their names appear in a school newsletter they would be "Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones who are raising Tommy Smith" and would not be identified as Tommy's parents.
What goes on in people's bedrooms is none of the school's business, but presenting two adults as being married should be beyond the pale for most Orthodox schools.
Sasson
