<HTML>Firstly, I love your list. Yishar Kochacha.
Concerning the discussion on Sex Education much of what has been posted
are important points and well taken. I especially appreciated the words of
Yamin Goldsmith (a former student of ours). I would like to add some
observations.
For the past twenty years I have been teaching a course on the Jewish
Family here in the yeshiva and at other Yeshivot and seminaries. I have
also given parts of this course to younger students of high school age.
The course includes classes on many tough subjects: Kedusha, Tzniut, modes
of dress, The Yetzer Hara, Issur Kirva, Yichud, Mechiza, Taharat
Hamishpacha, Dating, How to choose a spouse, Romantic Love versus Torah
Love, Sex in Judaism, Kiddushin and Nisuin, Birth Control, Kibbud Av
va'Aim, Shalom Bayit, Chinuch Banim and more.
Although there is a natural and understandable tendency for teachers to
stay away from this subject, especially the parts that deal with
sexuality, I think that this is a tragic mistake.
Firstly, we are dealing with a subject which is of primary interest, maybe
the primary interest, of our students. To skirt the issue in High School
makes us seem somewhat irrelevant in their eyes.
Secondly, I have found that this material is a great tool in bringing the
students closer to avodat hashem. There is no reason for us to shy away
from the issues, the Torah definitely has something to say here. Not only
does the Torah have an important message to give over on the subject, but
it is a much more cogent and powerful a message than they are going to get
any where else. We have nothing to be ashamed of on this issue; nothing to
hide from them. The Torah message here is very positive, upbeat and
inspiring. It is not condescending or depressing at all. Obviously it has
to be presented in a manner that is both wise and accurate at the same
time. If we don't utilize what the Torah has to say on issues of Human
Sexuality we are not imbuing the students with one of the most important
and central messages of Judaism.
This subject matter is also a great tool in explaining a lot of essentials
of Judaism and major concepts of machshava and halacha: What are we all
here for?, the importance of mitzvot ma'asiot, the difference between
Judaism and Christianity, the difference between Deoraita, Derabanan,
Minhag, Humra, (and "my nafka mina" which one it is?). The halachic
process and how it works? What is a humra that is commendable and what is
counter productive? There are many misconceptions and misinformation, on
this subject especially, which can and should be rectified in the students
minds.
When the subject matter is given over in a broader context of a course on
the Jewish Family, it also instills within it an inherent Zniut and
seriousness. All the students know that this material is relevant to them
specifically. They are all planning to be parents and members of a Jewish
Family. They are interested from the beginning much more so that with
other subjects, where it always seems like a battle for the teacher to
pique their interest. When the students realize that they are starting to
build their own Jewish Family of the future right now it has somewhat of a
sobering affect on their present actions in instilling them with a bit
more than the here and now.
We are witnessing a breakdown of the Jewish Family in many circles. Part
of the problem is the lack of training that is given to young people prior
to marriage on what marriage is all about. A couple may only get a two
hour session at the Chasan and Kalla class concerning relationships and on
how to get along with one another. Often nothing is given at these classes
concerning issues of sexuality, love and kindness. Even though our
students are young for marriage, it is not too early to start talking
about some of these issues. For many of our students in High School it is
a question of now or never ("im lo achshav ematai?").
This course is also great material for an Adult Education Program (or
continuing education program for graduates) which has also been discussed
on this list.
One last point. Although instilling the spirit and the beauty of the
Jewish message here is essential, I think that it must be a mixture of
Machshava and Halacha. Students are interested in Mekorot. More than any
thing else they are searching for Authenticity. They want to know what
really is demanded of them and who says so. Or is what you are telling me
some kind of "Chasidishe shtick". A teacher who wants to teach this
material had better be well prepared.
On a personal note, I have prepared a seminar for teachers on the
highlights, with special attention to the more difficult subjects of this
course, to train and assist teachers in preparing and presenting a course
on the Jewish Family. Any school interested in having me present the
seminar in their school can contact me at the addresses below.
David Lebor
Yeshivat Shaalvim
D.N. Shimshon
99784 ISRAEL
Tel: 972-8-927-6521
email:
dlebor@actcom.co.il</HTML>
