The Dress Code Struggle

by | Feb 18, 2019 | Blog, Discussions | 4 comments

A common struggle for day schools is adherence to a dress code or uniform.  These are some of the challenges as I see them:

*We often use vague terms in our school handbooks to explain the logic using terms like “modesty” or “orthodox standards.”

*Generally, the issues of non-compliance connected to dress in school affects the female population more than the males and often triggers those students to feel religiously condemned.

*Teachers tend to take two different paths to deal with this issue. Some teachers and administrators, fearing an adversarial relationship with their students (or a hostile relationship with the parents), tend to turn a blind eye to consistent infractions while others become so frustrated with the seemingly never-ending violations, that they become angry with their students which in turn affects the student-teacher relationship.

While this topic is not a new one in our schools, it has been on my mind lately. Recently, Lilly Gelman, a day school graduate (and full disclosure- my daughter) wrote a piece for the Forward titled  “It’s Time Orthodox Jews Stop Equating Modesty with Self Respect. https://forward.com/author/lilly-gelman/

She writes how the lines between halachik infraction in dress and character shaming are blurred together so that students (in her case specifically females) hear a message that choosing to dress outside the uniform or dress code of their school or institutions invites an attack on their personal integrity. It is painful to read about her negative experiences as a high school student. While she is just one person with one experience, her voice speaks for many who feel the same way.

In my own classroom, I choose to enforce the school dress code without stressing any link to halacha. Lettering on your sweatshirt or a shirt without a collar are of the same level of violation as a mini skirt or coming to class without a kippah. There is no punishment for violation, but there is a quarterly incentive for compliance (5 points on a test or an exemption from a quiz).

I wonder if we should give thought to doing away with the halachik dress code in our schools. Perhaps this is a battle that we don’t want to fight with our students during these years. Maybe the focus should be on their connection to Torah, to Judaism and helping them navigate the tough years of adolescence so they leave high school as mindful, thoughtful Jews. As educators, we have a limited amount of time with our students. We pick and choose in our curriculum knowing that we cannot teach them everything, and we hope that we instill in them a thirst to learn more when they leave high school. Maybe along those lines, we should choose to overlook outward dress for now and focus on their “insides”- their growth as caring, committed young adults. While I know this suggestion would need to be “unpacked” by each school as they see fit, I believe it is one to seriously consider as we move forward in Jewish education.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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Simon GouldenChevi RubinJeff ZuckermanDoreen Samuels Recent comment authors
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Doreen Samuels
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Doreen Samuels

This is a very complex issue and covers many areas of life. As a Head of Kodesh and Deputy Head in a Primary School, one of the most memorable problems was when male teachers confided thier discomfort when girls in very short skirts were climbing stairs ahead of them, or sitting cross-legged on the floor. Then there is the issue of trousers – which are often much more ‘modest’ in many school situations, but construed by some parents and staff as a failure of religiosity ….. My most rigorous teacehr in sending boys who were not wearing tsitsit to me… Read more »

Jeff Zuckerman
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Jeff Zuckerman

I am only a parent and grandparent, not a professional educator, but I doubt that dropping a halachik standard will ever solve any problem in a day school; and I am quite certain that doing so always will create problems. With respect to tznius, as with any other halacha, the way we teach it is critical to how it will be received. Unfortunately, tznius often is taught as relating only to women’s necklines and hemlines, which is both halachically incomplete and pedagogically often counter-productive. Rather than dropping a requirement of compliance with tznius, I suggest that a school which is… Read more »

Chevi Rubin
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Chevi Rubin

Interesting to note that this is an issue that schools and students across the denominational spectrum are grappling with. I thought this was a brave and telling piece from a student in a community JDS:
https://jgirlsmagazine.org/2019/02/dress-code-at-a-jewish-day-school/?utm_source=jGirls+Magazine&utm_campaign=9c12c8f47c-Weekly+RSS+email+campaign&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_118837efae-9c12c8f47c-113491941

Simon Goulden
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Simon Goulden

Just a thought……………………….It strikes me that this problem is considerably lessened in communities where a school uniform code is enforced, such as the UK and much of the British Commonwealth. This also goes some way towards crossing the denominational spectrum, too.

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