Category: Search for Spirituality (Winter 2007)

David Brody is the Rector and Chairperson of the Education Department at the Efrata Teachers’ College in Jerusalem, where he trains early childhood educators for the national religious schools in Israel . He has published an early childhood prayer curriculum, and has lectured on Jewish values, midrash, Bible stories, and inquiry learning in Israel, America, and Australia.

Young children are spiritual beings. They espouse theories about God and their own relationships with the Supreme Being. They pray enthusiastically in their preschool classrooms. This positive attitude and optimism makes fertile ground for spiritual development. Because of the tacit nature of the young child's acceptance of God, prayer, and relationship to the Almighty, her spiritual needs are often neglected by parents, who leave this domain for the preschool teacher. This laissez faire attitude has been observed among Israeli modern Orthodox families, where Shabbat synagogue attendance by children and their parents is routine and almost universal. Parents assume that their children's presence in the synagogue will reap spiritual benefits with or without mediation. Children undergo a profound socialization during their weekly synagogue visits, but it is unclear to what extent their spiritual needs are addressed in this situation. In order to answer this question, a narrative study was conducted among modern Orthodox Israeli preschoolers. This research reveals how young children understand their Shabbat synagogue experience.

Several questions were addressed: How does the young child view the synagogue, how does he define it, what kind of mental map does he create for himself, and how does he negotiate the space, the complex social milieu, and the social norms imposed on him once he arrives? Furthermore, what does prayer in the synagogue mean to the young child? How does she understand and internalize synagogue gender separation? These questions are open ended without a priori hypotheses. Based on the children’s understandings, an analysis will be made of how the community structures the Shabbat morning experience to meet the needs of the various stakeholders: the mothers, the fathers, the older siblings, the preschoolers and the infants. The functionalist theory of Talcott Parsons (Holmwood, 2006) will be enlisted to better understand this societal framework.

Twenty children ages five and six participated in the study. They were chosen at random from three different kindergartens affiliated with the governmental religious school sector in Jerusalem and environs. Open ended interviews were used to reveal the children's impressions and understandings of their weekly experience in the synagogue. The interviews were recorded by audiotape and transcribed. This qualitative method was chosen in order to obtain to access their thinking without a priori judgments. This interview technique has been espoused by a number of education researchers (Lichtman, 2006; Schostak, 2002; Taylor, 2005) including those in early childhood (Sandall et al., 2002; Goodwin and Goodwin, 1996; Borgia and Schuler, 1996).

Upon completion of the data collection the interview transcripts were analyzed according to four categories which arose from the children's remarks: (1) cognitive mapping of the synagogue; (2) making sense out of the partition; (3) playing in a non-play environment; (4) generating significance from prayer. Through these topics, conclusions about the status of children's spirituality vis a vis the synagogue will be forged. The interviews were conducted in Hebrew, necessitating an idiomatic translation which attempts to capture the spirit of their comments.

(1) A mental mapping of the synagogue

"It's huge and there are a lot of people there."

When children think about the synagogue, they tend to construct either physical or social mental maps. Physical descriptions of the synagogue focused on its grandeur and unusual furnishings. Although they use the adjectives big and huge, the children did not respond with a sense of awe, as adults might. Several commented that that are lots of chairs, which differentiates the space from their kindergarten and home. The ark seemed inseparable from the building itself.

The children preferred characterizing the synagogue in human rather than physical dimensions. It was described as "crowded" with "lots and lots of people", thus recognizing the social context of the Shabbat service. One child emphasized that "everyone from the neighborhood comes to the synagogue on Shabbat." The children enjoy this density, and some added stated a preference for sitting on the men's side because "so many people are there." Contact with so many adults highlights the intimacy which the child shares with her parent.

These children have developed a functional rather than architectural concept of the synagogue. For them, the building is divided into three areas, each serving a different function: "the side of the boys and the daddies", "the side of the girls or the mommies", and the "outside". Ideally, a parent on either side of the partition serves as a geographical anchor, or reference point, which provides orientation. In the mother’s absence, another significant female (grandmother, sister, or aunt) may appear in the women's section. Adult family members are not typically found in the lobby and outside space. This is the children's venue, where they initiate and control the activities. Children arrive there randomly, and the decision to remain depends on the current social milieu. At times children will exit the sanctuary with a sibling or friend. In these cases she may remain outdoor for extended periods. However, if the child ventures outside and does not find a familiar face, he may return to the parent. Because the children quickly learn the exact location of their parents in the sanctuary, they negotiate easily between the sections, as they "travel" (letayel) from one space to another. Most children are privileged to move freely between the areas, although some most ask permission to go outside.

The child's construction of gender contributes their choice of where to sit. Although until age 6 the children are allowed to choose, they usually prefer to sit with the same gender parent. One girl explained: "I sit mainly with my grandmother. I don't sit with daddy because that is the place for boys." Another added that she always sits with her sister because her mother never comes, but in her sister’s absence then she sits with her father. Additional reasons exist for girls choosing the women’s section: "There are picture books to look at, and of course my friends are (all) there.” Permission for young girls to sit on the men's side is a function of age, to be withdrawn when they become "big." For one girl, the acquisition of reading skills marks the end of sitting with her father. "When I am big, I can read by myself, then I can pray by myself." Girls articulated an age when they would stop sitting with their fathers (between 6 and 10); however, the boys seemed unaware of future restrictions on sitting with their mothers. This difference may reflect an accurate reading by both genders of the relative freedom of movement which men compared to women experience in the synagogue.

(2) The Partition

"Women's Wall, Men's Wall"

The partition is a significant feature in the child's image of the synagogue because it blocks access to one of the parents. All of the informants described in detail how they negotiate a route between their mother and father. For example, one child slips between partition panels while another chooses a circuitous path including stairs, heavy doors and a crowded lobby. Children also speculated about imaginary ways to move between sections, including swinging from rope tied to the balcony railing.

The children's descriptions of the partition indicate their awareness of design details. The young child’s semantic limitations lead to inventive descriptions, such as "a wall for the boys and a wall for the girls, a curtain from floor to ceiling, a wall of scarves, of tablecloths, of aprons, a cloth which surrounds the girls from all sides and closes so the children won't fall out." For these children, the partition challenges their ability to maneuver in the synagogue and to see the parent on the other side. Because the parents serve as reference points, it is important to visually locate the distant parent. Children more often mentioned locating their father from the women's section than vice versa. When the partition is too high, the child is lifted by an adult or stands on a chair.

Children generate theories to explain the partition. One child understood the purpose of the division thus: "so they won't see (each other) because it's not modest (tzanua)." Others suggested that it blocks hearing and seeing from side to side. One child speculated: "Maybe the girls say different things from the boys, and they won't hear (each other). There are no holes (in the partition) so they they can't hear." Another theory recognizes gender division as a given: "So the father won't think that they will get mixed up between the boys and the girls." Only one child found the partition problematic: "The barrier isn't a good idea when you want to take care of the baby (on the other side). If he needs help, you can't see him."

(3) Playing in the Non-play environment

“When I knock out someone else’s toffee from the ring, I get to keep it.”

Behavioral norms vary on each side of the partition. The expectation on the men’s side is an absence of loud noises, boisterous activity and play. The atmosphere is different in the women's section, where infants and young children bring with them noise, activity and disruption. This hubbub reduces the requirement for children to sit silently in the women’s section.

Play is the young child's primary method of engaging her world (Soraacho and Spodek, eds., 2002; Tizard and Hughes, 2002), and this modality applies to the synagogue as well as daily life. The attraction of play in the outside space of the synagogue is mitigated by a desire to be close to a parent. Some children begin their morning with a parent before relocating to the lobby or yard, waiting for a trigger, such as the arrival of a younger sib who needs supervision outdoors. The content of the outdoor play is influenced by an absence of play equipment as well as a prohibition against bringing toys to the synagogue. The lack of appropriate play stimulation generates creative solutions using found resources.

The prohibition against toys seems to be related to the concept of holiness (kedusha) which the parents articulate both directly and indirectly. Because the inside space is inappropriate for play, parents readily grant permission for playing in an unequipped yard. Here children invent or adapt a rich variety of street games (Brown, 1973; Sultan, 1997) such as chase or hide and seek. The subjects in this study reported eight different versions of chase. In addition, the children enhance their play by using architectural elements such as handrails for summersaults and sloped walls for slides. Sociodramatic play provides additional play content. Girls tend to focus on family scenarios, while the boys prefer more aggressive subjects, such as Power Rangers and Dragonball. Despite their prohibition, dolls and superhero models are often imported either openly or surreptitiously.

An additional play resource for the children is the ubiquitous wrapped candies, which are used for pitching and target games. The economy of candies in the synagogue is worthy of examination.

The possibility of acquiring candies occupies the minds and hearts of young children in the synagogue. Strategies for obtaining these treasures include: directly approaching the adult distributor, catching and collecting when thrown from the women's section, and passive reception from a generous child donor. The candy patron’s identity is public knowledge, as well as the time when they distribute and the type of candy they pass out. One girl’s explanation follows: "There are a few 'misters' who give candies. There is a 'mister' who gives chocolate lollipops and two who give toffee." In a different synagogue one man distributes toffee on Friday night while the other offers chewing gum on Saturday morning. Another method of acquiring candy is less certain, but more profitable. As the Torah reader approaches maftir, the children gather around. Tension grows as each child prepares ("I get my hands ready to catch."). When the candy is thrown they catch what they are able, and then scramble on the floor to pick up whatever remains ("I run around and look.") Although unable to count their treasures, they know when they have amassed a respectable quantity ("to 100"). With filled pockets, they exit, some to a parent and some outdoors. Those who reach a parent may ask permission to eat the candies, while others store their treasures in father's tallit bag. Those who go outside enjoy a candy feast and marble games. (“When I knock out someone else’s toffee from the ring, I get to keep it.”) Younger children (ages 2-3) acquire candies by waiting in the women's section for the older sib to return and share. Although no one loses in the candy economy there are richer and poorer players. The throwing of candies provides a communally sanctioned suspension of the atmosphere of kedusha in the synagogue. At those moments people "scream and go crazy" which simultaneously breaks the routine and strengthens it by the hasty return to decorum.

(4) Prayer: I speak with God.

In their definitions of the synagogue, most children stated that people pray there, and some added that it is a place of holiness ("makom kadosh.") In their descriptions of prayer, children did not relate to purpose and meaning, to praise, thanks, or requests from God. For these young children, prayer is an activity for parents and involves holding a book and swaying back and forth. Some children claimed that they also pray on their own free will. For one girl prayer is a default activity. If her friends fail to arrive, then she sits next to a parent and prays. A boy described the connection between prayer and reading, explaining that he can pray because he learned to read. A spiritual approach was expressed by only one child. She described prayer in this manner: "I speak with God. God hears the prayer, and that's how I speak with him." Her unique understanding highlights the total absence of spiritual content to the other children's prayer experience.

Although most of the children view prayer as an adult activity, one child described a youth service which is loaded with content. She proudly reported going by herself to the service where "we tell the weekly Torah portion, or whatever we want." Her participation in the service is clearly empowering.

Discussion: A Sociological View

The routine of bringing their children to the synagogue on Shabbat enhances family functioning in the National Religious community. Typically the father brings the preschooler with him, thus freeing the mother to focus on the younger siblings at home. Three values are communicated to the child: the importance of Shabbat synagogue attendance, the religious gender status for each parent, and the socialization of the norms of synagogue behavior.

The special circumstances of this Shabbat morning subculture can be better understood by applying Talcott Parsons' functionalist theory of society (Holmwood, 2006). Parsons claims that society strives to preserve the balance of its existing structure (cited in Parsons, 2006). This goal is achieved by a value structure which is acquired by the youngest members of the community through a socialization process. When various members of the society espouse conflicting goals, the system accommodates by advancing those which best preserve the societal values.

This theory can explain why fathers bring their children to the synagogue while ignoring spiritual aspects of the experience. The father’s halachic obligation to pray in a quorum on Shabbat morning along with the mother’s need for relief from some of her child care responsibilities seems to drive the entire enterprise. In this situation, the father takes on the role of family educator, bringing his preschool child to the synagogue and teaching her the norms of synagogue behavior. However, once they arrive, a goal conflict is created between the father's desire to pray undisturbed and the child’s developmental need for appropriate play stimulus. The father typically resolves this conflict by sending the child outside to play. The children understand their ability to exit the synagogue as a privilege, and they cooperate by occupying themselves through various play initiatives which do not disturb the adult worshippers. This outdoor play preserves the "kedusha" (holiness) of the sanctuary by removing unwanted disturbances. The freedom to move between the men's and women's sections provides another activity for the children without undue distraction to the adult worshippers. The moratorium on gender separation at this early age serves to preserve the separation by allowing children to learn what is expected on each side of the partition. It also allows for the parents to share in child care responsibilities. Likewise, candy distributors provide a focus for the children and contribute to their ability to remain in the synagogue without disturbing the adults.

The social system which enables the father to pray in the quorum functions as follows: the father prays with his preschooler beside him until the child disturbs. At this point, the child chooses an option: seeking candy, playing outdoors, or going to the mother or an older sib. The mother cooperates by caring for the younger children, and finding a space and time to pray which fits in with the needs of other family members.

This delicate balance pleases everyone; however, parents may not be aware of the cost it extracts from the preschool child. These young family members are brought to a venue of adult activity and are expected to sit quietly or otherwise occupy themselves. Their social and emotional needs are met in an offhanded way, but are not addressed directly. Spiritual needs seem to be neglected almost entirely. Although they spend two to three hours in a house of worship, the preschooler does not pray in a serious or age appropriate manner. Although fascinating stories are read to the adult listener during the torah reading, the children do not participate in the narrative. Their experience is mimetic. They learn by watching others. This approach generates undesirable outcomes. (For example, many think that prayer is swaying back and forth with a book in your hand.) Where a youth quorum takes place, it is often led by teenagers who are competent at occupying children with games, but inexperienced in helping them achieve spiritual meaning from prayer. The Shabbat morning synagogue experience, while offering tremendous potential for spiritual development in young children, has largely been untapped.

Conclusions

The potential of the synagogue experience can be addressed both by the family and the community. The parents can sharpen their focus on the child's needs. The walk to the synagogue can be a time for reviewing Torah portion highlights and encouraging the child to share what he knows. Another relevant topic is talking about God. Most young children have theories about God, how He functions in the world, and His relationship to people. Dialogue on this topic legitimates their questions and leads to a more mature understanding.

Once in the synagogue, the parent can mediate between his child and the prayers being recited. An illustrated prayerbook or storybook about the Torah portion will have interesting pictures to look at when the adult prayers are long and unfamiliar, as well as a reference for the familiar. Formal ritual around the Torah service could be emphasized. Children can be brought to the reader's desk to view the Torah scroll and its accoutrements. Between aliyot, the parent can explain what will be read and suggest that the child listen for a name which appears in the text. Parents might want to reconsider the prohibition of toys in the synagogue. When the child can no longer follow or becomes bored, he can occupy himself with a quiet toy or picture book until a teachable moment occurs.

Unsupervised outdoor play signals the community’s failure to address the spiritual needs of its youngest members. Some synagogues in Israel have established youth services, the more successful of which are led by parents, who understand the needs and abilities of their children. In these settings, parents share the responsibility of educating for spirituality. Guides for preschool prayer education can be used by those who seek professional guidance (Brody, 1997; Handelman and Goodman, 2000).

On Shabbat morning a community of worshippers gathers together. Each segment of this community seeks to achieve its own goals, creating a delicate balance. Preschoolers adapt to these societal norms, enjoying a special status. The ideas suggested above are intended to nurture the spiritual needs of these young worshippers, with a minimal disruption to the existing order.

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