Jewish Education Amidst Rising Antisemitism  volume 22:2 Winter 2024

The Courage to Ask

by | Oct 18, 2026 | Educating Towards Faith (Fall 2026) | 0 comments

An eleventh grader this year wrote about her faith in the wake of October 7th:

In the weeks following…, I found it challenging to believe in a God that could allow such horrors to be done to humans, especially His chosen people….I found myself wondering, “How could a merciful God put us in this world knowing the immense suffering that would ensue?” He is supposed to be looking out for us and protecting us…Eventually, my doubts started spreading into other areas of my life. Brachot lost their meaning, tefillot seemed to have lost their power, and motivation for some mitzvot completely disappeared. My day-to-day life lost its “light” without the meaning or motivation to guide me through my days.

Surely, many an adult asked themselves the same questions during those horrible days, but with the difference perhaps that their faith was more developed, more rehearsed in tragedy and suffering and, as a result, a little more resilient. But what about a young adult whose mature faith may still be in its nascent stages? How is she to cope with her emerging doubts? In the aftermath of October 7th, we rallied our students to raise money, raise consciousness, and raise their voices to Heaven, but did we ever stop to ask them how they felt about God?

In a way it is ironic, since doubt is the most natural thing in the world for adolescents (and others). If we consider all of the changes and stages that adolescence entails, for example the growth in cognitive, social, and emotional development, to name but a few, it becomes obvious that students bring all of these new perspectives to bear on their studies, their relationships, and their sense of self, and we tend to applaud that growth and resulting experimentation, even if it sometimes make us want to tear our hair out. But if they are looking at their entire world in a new light, we should then not be surprised and never forget that they put their faith under the same microscope.

This point is critical because, as schools and parents, we work hard to support teens’ evolving sense of identity and the questions that ensue—in classes, in guidance programs and in co-curricular experiences. But do we pay the same attention to their evolving religious identity and questions? Here one refers not to the occasional question that may come up in class discussion, the lone voice or two who curiously challenge a religious practice or attitude, but rather to the core of religious identity, to one’s personal relationship with God or observance or belief.

Evidence suggests that while we are essentially spiritual beings at birth, we often lose touch with that spirituality because as we grow older, the adults around us are too often uncomfortable with our questions about God and spirituality. And so, questions are suppressed or repressed. Even among those who are solidly committed, as they get to high school, there can be a stigma to asking certain kinds of questions fearing what a teacher or one’s peers will say,

As one student wrote:

Judaism teaches that God is always with us and watching over the world, but, for some reason, my mind started wanting actual proof that God was real. I remember almost feeling guilty for thinking that way since it felt like I was doing something wrong just by wondering. I did not talk about it much, but deep down, I just wanted proof that what I believe in is actually real. Even though I know it is not possible to actually see God’s image, I still just wanted to see something that my eyes could not deny.  I did not want to think that way, but I couldn’t help it. Whenever people around me spoke about how certain they were that God existed, I felt even worse. I could not understand why faith came so easily to them while I was stuck questioning it.

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No wonder, then, that research, at least in the Western world, finds that doubt often starts with questions, unanswered or unarticulated questions, especially those related to religion and science (creation and evolution), perceived religious intolerance toward sexual minorities, toward other social issues, toward other people (Amalek), or the problem of suffering in the world (Why do bad things happen to good people? Why are some people born with disabilities? Why…?). For some, the question may be localized on a specific issue while for others it goes much deeper, questioning the fairness if not the existence of God. How do we know that other religions are “wrong?” How do we know that the Torah is true? A religious or committed person can live with unresolved questions, but how do we teach students to have that same resilience? For if the questions remain unresolved, if they are troublesome enough or numerous enough, they can lead to doubt. We must thus find a way to address the “smaller” doubts, what Rabbi Norman Lamm called “the doubt of the committed” before they become the more substantive doubts that can lead to a distancing from religion altogether. This is especially so since research suggests that the latter kind of doubt tends to progress in phases, as the quote from the eleventh grader may suggest, rather than as a rapid discrete event. They can be weeks or months in the making, thus highlighting the need to address them early on.

I teach a unit on doubt that does not seek to delegitimatize it or even to dispense with it but rather to validate it. I teach it in the eleventh grade because developmentally it seems to me to be the sweet spot, a time when students are beginning to think much more independently and candidly about their faith. Cognitively, they are able to get beyond the black and white thinking of their younger selves, and emotionally they are prepared to be much more open about their inner lives given the safe space to do so. And they are much more open to understanding that faith is a process not an end point, what Rav Dov Singer recently described to me as a dimmer rather than an off-on light switch.

We begin by exploring a couple of biblical examples. The serpent of Eden is arguably able to convince Eve to doubt the one prohibition she had or even to doubt God Himself. Doubt would thus seem to be built into the very fabric of creation, a part of our makeup, a part of our relationship with God. The experience of Benei Yisrael clamoring for water (Exodus 17), testing God, challenging Him, presents the opportunity to speak about collective doubt in our formative years as a nation but also to undercut the value of miracles in religious belief. The same people who witnessed the plagues, the splitting of the sea, also came to doubt God’s providence. The desire to experience God firsthand in biblical proportions may not ultimately be the panacea we dream it to be.

In the course of our exploration, I provide a number of traditional strategies for addressing or alleviating doubt. We talk about the need to learn more in order to address a particular doubt head-on rather than letting it fester, i.e., Torah itself has many of the answers you seek—tzei u’lemad (go out and learn). We explore the value of observing a mitzvah, even if we do not yet appreciate it. We talk about the importance of having a teacher (aseh lekha rav), not only someone of whom to ask questions, but someone who can also be a role model of faith. How does one choose such a teacher? How does one develop such a relationship? (One would be amazed at the number of students who say they have no such person in their lives even as they crave it but don’t know how to go about finding one.) We examine the role of community and friends in our religious beliefs and practices, how they can strengthen or weaken them, the impact of parents or siblings, or camp or summer experiences. The goal is not to preach or judge but just to encourage greater self-awareness. We talk about prayer as a vehicle to talk to God, and ourselves, about our own doubts, giving voice to them as part of the religious experience. We talk about the occasional need for submission, if one is able, as a way of holding doubt at bay. We talk about the role of intuition in different areas of our lives (trust, love) and the role it can play in giving faith the benefit of the doubt. And we talk about the need for honesty with oneself in this quest, the difference between a spurious doubt and an authentic one. We acknowledge that these are strategies, not cures, and that different ones may be more helpful than others at different times. We do all of this through the medium of classic or modern texts and stories, of philosophers and Torah giants who themselves admit to the presence of doubt and its normality. And all the while we try to create a safe space in which students can speak openly about their own misgivings and benefit from the collaboration of peers who may have the same questions or who have come up with their own answers.

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At the end of the unit, students are asked to write a self-reflective piece about a doubt or religious challenge that they have or have had and explain how any of the strategies could be helpful or were helpful to them. They are also asked to reflect upon some quotes about doubt and whether they resonate. Perhaps the one that the majority appreciate the most is something they heard in an interview by Rabbi Sacks during the unit: “Faith is not certainty, faith is the courage to live with uncertainty.” In the process, most students walk away being able to breathe again, knowing that they are on a journey replete with challenges but not roadblocks. Hear their voices:

I have learned that just the act of doing can foster closeness and transform doubt into a pathway for connection. I learned that faith is not only understood intellectually but lived and learned through actions and practice.

If we accept our doubts calmly and take time to reflect on them, we can turn them into deeper understanding instead of anxiety.

Uncertainty is part of the human experience, and life isn’t about trying to pretend I understand everything, but it’s about having the strength to live meaningfully without full clarity. I find this perspective reassuring because it makes faith feel more grounded- it’s not perfect, but it’s something ongoing that I can always learn from.

In the end, I have learned that doubt does not mean distance, it can actually be the start of a deeper connection.

I would like to think that students emerge from this unit a little less fretful, a little more open and yes, even a little more courageous, empowered by another statement by Rabbi Sacks that: “To ask, is to believe that somewhere there is an answer…We ask not because we doubt, but because we believe.”

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Jay Goldmintz is a veteran day school educator who teaches at Maayanot Yeshiva High School. Rabbi Dr. Goldmintz is the author of the National Jewish Book Award-winning Koren Ani Tefillah Weekday Siddur and its companion Shabbat volume, as well as having published widely about curriculum, religious development, and religious parenting. He serves on the Advisory Board of Jewish Educational Leadership.

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