Rachel Levitt Klein’s dialogic essay underscores why teaching leadership should be an essential component of the day school program.

“OK but how do you TEACH Jewish leadership? Don’t you just DO it?” said my tired colleague as soon as she heard I was about to pitch an idea about teaching Jewish leadership.

“I guess that is one way to teach it – trial by fire’” I reply, “but what if you had skills, a repertoire of tools and had developed your self-awareness so your leadership was already on a higher level? What if the trial by fire was less necessary? What would that look like by the time our students reach college campuses?”

“That would be great, but how do you propose getting day schools, who already have so much pressure on them to fit in everything, to add one more class?”

“I don’t suggest one more class.” I explain.

“What then?” she asked, clearly curious. “I propose we start with one simple, but huge step – get clear ourselves. Everything else will follow.”

I almost lost her attention at this point, to be honest, she was worried I was going to get all “granola” and start singing about feelings. So I explained: “We are so busy teaching one subject, one skill, one course, that we are cheating our students. We are forgetting the whole child. We need to create real opportunities for them to pull all of these ideas together beyond the classroom. We need to give them a chance to synthesize ideas they learned in all their different classes and apply to them to their daily, real lives. This way their Judaism becomes urgent and real, instead of locked up in a text or in a room from 10-11 AM.”

Intrigued, at least a little, she asked: “OK, Rachel, how?”

“Three steps,” I explained, “and then we can start.”

“Cute.” She says. “Very cute. I bet your three simple steps sound pretty but involve a grant, a full time salary for a consultant and maybe also some new technology while we are it. Look, we do not have an urgent need to TEACH LEADERSHIP. We have more than enough kids running for student government offices and volunteering in the community. I am not so interested in the latest gimmick and step by step that requires seven professional development days and distracts my faculty from getting their real work done… no offense.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” I say. “Did you ever take Driver’s ed?”

“Yes” she says, getting tired…

“When we teach Driver’s ed, the goal is not to make each driver into the leader of other drivers, but to be the driver of his or her own vehicle. Think about it – there is a very big paradigm shift that happens for our teens when they start to drive. They start to see themselves as drivers, as decision makers, as powerful people who can influence others – for good, or bad… they start to see themselves as LEADERS. I am proposing that we need to shift our definition of “leadership training” away from “how to be the next CEO” and back to “how to drive your own car responsibly.” Just as each driver does not wait for permission to turn the blinker on, turn the wipers off or stop at a red light, our students and teachers need to feel and behave like they are empowered in their own lives. They must refill their gas tanks when running low on energy, they must ask for directions when needed, get tune ups… you get the picture. A kind of rosh gadol (big picture) approach to living – very aware, very awake, very engaged – because if I am driving, I need to know where I am going and why, I need to notice what is going on around me, drive my car carefully and navigate where and I want to go…”

“I think we should teach that to the students for sure, but our teachers are all adults. They know this already,” she said. “I am not so sure they do,” I challenged. “Consider this – how many teachers leave their rooms messy, or hand in their grades late or do not greet their students with respect? How many of our teachers proactively research how to teach their particular students well, seek advice, and ask directions, if you will? Some do. Some amazing teachers do. But not all. Know why? They are not yet ‘drivers.’ They do not yet see themselves as responsible for creating their classroom culture, routines, and VALUES. And… if the teachers do not yet see themselves as drivers, then how can our students?”

Now I had her attention. “I am not sure that I agree with your assumptions but I am open to hearing more about your ideas” she said honestly. “I can see how students who graduate from day school, who see themselves as ‘drivers’ of their lives and of their Jewish lives in particular, will thrive and help Jewish communities to thrive. But I am not sure I see how this can be taught in a classroom.”

STEP ONE: Getting clear ourselves

“The first thing we need to do is get clear about what we value. What do we want our school, our classroom, our faculty culture to be about, to be known for? Or another way of putting it- what is our currency? We often think this is obvious but it is not.”

“What do you mean?”

“For example, in one school, making sure all classes are taught full of rigor and high demand is their main identity so leadership in this school will focus on rigor and application of rigor in all facets of life. This school’s effective leadership will be manifest in knowing the subject matter well, and pushing students to engage it with attention. In class, if rigor is my main value and goal, what words will I use to praise work? What types of learning will occur in my classroom, my faculty meetings and my school-wide programs that showcase rigor? What will the teachers talk about when students overhear them in the hallway? If they are discussing the latest article on accountability or perhaps a TED talk on Bible, then students will see their teachers as role models who live the values they talk about and teach,” I offer.

“OK, so following your logic, take, for example, another school, whose mission is to celebrate each student’s unique gifts. In such a school, leadership will be highly specialized on the one hand and will be manifest by showing understanding of individuals. Teachers will be overheard discussing shared accomplishments, delighting in the success of their colleagues and students. Often teachers will be found emailing parents to share the amazing contribution of students and administrators who share this value will do the same for their faculty and staff. Is that correct?”

“Yes! And we can take this even farther. For example, does our school promote a Moshe Rabbeinu model of ‘Mi LaHashem elai!’ where the leader directs all action and the rest follow? Or, perhaps, the school gravitates more to a model of Yosef who interprets other people’s dreams and helps them to become a reality, asking people ‘what do you see?’ or, like God, ask ‘Where are you?’ Possibly your classroom is all about truth and accuracy in engaging with text and understanding. If so, your mantra may be tzedek tzedek tirdof (pursue justice) or darsheini (investigate me) as the midrash demands. Perhaps you have a number of models and visions – that is fine, but it is important to create a language and shared frames of reference around them.”

“I see what you are saying and how phrases about leadership become very relevant, but what does this look like if it works?”

“You ask the perfect question! That is what we need each school to answer for themselves. Imagine this: A student sees garbage on the floor of a room when she enters. Another students notices that his friend has been out sick. The first step is getting people to notice these things. After this comes the decision of how do we act upon what we notice. When we have a mantra of personal leadership and responsibility and we SHOW our students what these values look like in action, leadership will follow. If I believe in this value X, then how do I show that in my actions? If I am the driver and I want to show X, how do I drive?”

STEP TWO: Setting the adult leaders up for success and support

“Alright, so let’s say we have a shared idea of what personal leadership looks like in our school. What is next?”

“That is tricky. Here is where all of our lofty intentions often break down,” I explain. “The next thing to do is to pay attention to how we set these future leaders up for success. How will we nurture them? This key question ideally must be answered for the adults involved first. Let us consider: How do we nourish leaders? The same way we nourish our students. We should not underestimate the power of explaining the WHY behind the WHAT.

When we narrate as teachers, as administrators why we teach a certain way, and associate values with it, it enables our students to own their own ways of implementing this value and gives them a chance to drive their own learning of these values. And then – here is the key – REPEAT the words over and over and over again. As individuals and as a community, we must learn to check ourselves against these words and make sure our students, parents – all of our stake holders know that these words are our values and we can be held accountable for them.”

“Wait a second. This last statement, ‘holding accountable,’ is scary for many of us. What do you mean by that?” she says nervously.

“Look, in an ideal world, being held accountable should be a compliment since it means you expect greatness of me. For many, however, it also means rebuke, shame, and perhaps the specter of a loss of income. Creating a culture where it is not only acceptable but required for teachers to share mistakes and problems with one another so they can learn and grow will model for students how imperative it is to grow and learn from their mistakes in the future. No matter how amazing any of us are, we make mistakes. Learning from them is what will make us great and resilient but sweeping them under the rug, creating defensiveness and shame around them, will prevent us from flourishing.”

“How do you teach that?” she asks.

“Actually, striving for clarity in this can be studied through text – for some schools, studying texts like Yehuda admitting he was wrong, or King David acknowledging his sin can be great springboards for discussion about safety in imperfection. For other schools, studying texts about when to rebuke and the danger of shaming others will be an easier opening for these kinds of dialogues. Asking teachers what would help them, setting up meetings for check-ins in advance, and being transparent with our goals and how we adjust them as needed will serve as a model for our student leaders and help our adult advisors lead them from personal examples as well.”

STEP THREE: Get the new drivers behind the wheel

“So now, assuming we have clarity about goals and we have support systems in place, what happens?”

“Once we have started the conversations about models of leadership, goals and how we support one another we are ready for our students. What is crucial for our students’ success as leaders is to be mindful of how we are implementing our own leadership. I navigate by the following seven rules”:

Language counts. I have learned that the way we talk about things shapes how we feel about them and how we behave. In this category, there is really one key rule: ask lots of questions. Wonder with you students, and yourself, as well. What is my goal? What are my assumptions? How can I achieve my goals best? What is my first step? The importance of developing self-awareness is key to being a driver (I am tired, I am heading in the right direction, for example) and also for anyone who is asked to lead a life with conviction. The words we use in class every day will become the internal narrative our students play in their heads. This is where we unpack what Jewish leadership really is all about. Talk about it with your friends, your staff, your colleagues and students. Pretend your WAZE is on for your life and consider how your values influence your decisions. What would your WAZE say If you were steering off course? Recalculating… because that is real life. Wonder if there is a better route, adjust to traffic or even your mood and drive carefully.

Have fun/inspiration. (Not only the students!) If we talk about driving with only fearful or resentful words, then people will associate driving with fear and resentment. Here is my rule – if people are having an enjoyable, meaningful experience, then other people will want to join them so they can enjoy it too. Simple magnetism. If you are engaged in a meaningful learning process, others will want to be a part of it. If you are having fun, others will want to join. You can’t fake this and neither should your students. If they are being forced to run a program that they themselves would not want to be in, then something is wrong. The same is true for running faculty meetings or teaching a class – if you would not want to do the assignment you are giving, you need to wonder why anyone else should. If we want to raise a thinking and responsible generation of Jews, we need to model for them taking ownership. We must show that being a leader is a meaningful, and often fun, experience.

Let’s consider how this might work in tefillah. If the student is the “driver” then she need not wait for someone else to make tefillah meaningful for her, nor would he have to wait for someone to explain why he needs to wear tefillin. If the students see themselves as “drivers” of their lives, then the atmosphere of the shul, from the setup of the room to the engagement of the prayer experience, becomes part of their responsibility. This can’t happen in only one class. For it to make a difference, the whole school culture needs to demand this level of engagement because it is “our car/school/class.” If students know that leadership is driven by meaning and inspiration they will see it as very relevant.

Be authentic. We must be sure to be honest – not only in sharing your own ways of implementing values, but in offering real opportunities for leadership. If they are not actually given the chance to do and even fail or make a mistake it is not real leadership. This means that teachers are allowed to try things and fail and learn and grow, and so are students. Each school will need to figure out how to make this work within their system of values and grades but if we are not willing to allow real leadership opportunities to be given, then our roles for students become items they include in their college applications but are fundamentally meaningless as they learned nothing from the experience. Sure there is risk, but not giving authentic room for growth is also a risk. Unpack. Do a “post-mortem” after any leadership experience to explore what worked, what didn’t work, what could be done differently. After your faculty meeting, school-wide program, lesson or event, unpack how it went with the people on your team. What were the goals? Were they met? How do we know? What does this teach us about ourselves, our school, how we run future programs etc.? Take notes and listen well. This level of self-imposed accountability is essential for fostering true leadership. If a driver gets into an accident and does not learn from his mistakes, he may simply repeat it again. A responsible driver learns what went wrong and how to avoid it or drive better in the future. This might mean encouraging the use of exit tickets after classes, on line feedback forms, and surveys for faculty and even discussions. The key is to share the feedback and explore how the feedback will impact future plans and programs.

The power of the “in between places.” Perhaps the biggest shock for teachers and parents alike is what most students are thinking about at the end of the day. They are not thinking about your amazing class or this inspiring speaker – most of the time they are thinking about conversations and interactions they had in those “in between places.”

Recess, in between periods, lunch, gym, chats while taking off tefillin, conversation in the bathroom… We need to recall that often it is the little moments that matter. For most of us that one line, that one moment, is what is shaping how we perceive our days. If so, administrators need to be purposeful and kind with their “in between” moments with teachers who will then see a model of being sensitive in their “in between” moments with students who will then have had an amazing driving lesson by watching their role models drive their own lives.

If the “in between” places matter so much, then whose responsibility is it to make these places conducive to good choices and good thinking? Who “owns” the locker bays, the hallways and even the bathrooms? What if there were inspirational quotes or copies of the periodic table hanging in the bathrooms, how might that impact the environment? What aesthetic things can we, as a community do to show our values? What would the teacher’s room like?

Show, don’t tell. This is where big ideas and applications become real and relevant. Instead of telling students about ideas, we need to make sure to connect those ideas to action. What do the values you are teaching look like when they are applied? It is one thing to learn how to drive in a class but another one entirely when the student actually gets behind the wheel. As much as we can, we need to offer real opportunities for our whole school to engage in applying values beyond the meeting, the assignment and the classroom. As “drivers” of our lives, how do we respond to X idea? If I am running a staff meeting in which I tell my teachers to use more technology in the classroom, then I need to model how to use it in our meetings. If I am a teacher who is asked to use technology but I do not know how, it should be my assumption that I need to find out how to do this, whether the administration provides these opportunities for me or not. And if I am a student who is told that I need to create a wiki page, instead of blaming my teacher for not teaching me how, I need to assume that I should ask for help, from the teacher, friends and beyond.

“Your actions speak so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” Emerson has it right. Modeling is everything. When we work as a whole school, each person acting like a driver, learning, growing, making mistakes, working as a team, we teach leadership in action.

This is not a “class” it is a way of living our lives.

“It seems to me,” reflects my colleague,” that you propose a change in whole school culture.”

I let her analysis sink in and think about it. “Perhaps yes.” I say. “This is not about a class to be taught or a curriculum. I propose an identity shift.”

“So the key to bringing out the best in our students is to foster their discovery of identity.”

“Yes,” I say, “you said it better than I did. That is exactly it. We teach our future leaders to lead based upon how they see themselves and others. And if we can teach all of our students to be personal leaders for themselves, then our whole community will benefit.”

“This is pretty big, Rachel. You suggest whole school change… I kind of wish you had proposed a class after all… much easier.”

“Sure, but much less fun.”

Rachel Levitt Klein is the founder of SLED consulting (http://sledconsulting.com/) and Director of Student Life and Israel Guidance at the Beth Tfiloh Dahan Community High School in Baltimore, Maryland. Previously she was Assistant Principal of the Lower School and then Dean of Students of the High School at the Berman Hebrew Academy in Maryland.